My best friend is nearly finished with her nurse training, and she has recently shared some horrific stories about being sexually attacked by her very own patients with me. She said it’s very common, especially by older men—though older women are apt to do it as well! I always thought those sexy nurse personas in everything from porn to the Animaniacs were just exaggerated stereotypes, and they really are—but it also seems that some people want to believe that they are not only real, but okay to take advantage of.

I’m really not sure of what to make of this. My friend says that a perverted old man who was completely in control of his mental faculties reached over and squeezed her breast hard last week. Can you believe this?! In any other work place, it would be harassment or even assault. But what are you supposed to do when it’s an 80-year-old in the hospital?

She said she didn’t let it go, but instead told him firmly that if he wanted any further assistance from her—whether it was to get his meals or have help with his bowel movements—he would refrain from touching her again. She explained that her breasts were hers, not his, and she was married, and that he had no business touching them. She says he was properly chastised and respectful after that, but I’m really not sure.

Was he just acting on impulse, thinking that he’s close to death so why not? Or was he really a pervert who liked to harass young women? Either way, it’s highly inappropriate, and it really could cause harm to some people. No one should have to go through it. I told her had it been me, I probably would have smacked him in the face, and if it knocked his canula from his nose, so be it!

She says it’s not limited to female nurses with male patients, either. Male nurses get pinched in the bum, catcalled, and otherwise harassed by older women. She said that many of them are uncomfortable with it, though some do not mind. Either way, again, it’s inappropriate.

But do we make allowances because of these patients’ age and loneliness? What would you do if your patient were a completely otherwise healthy younger man who simply had a broken arm or something, and then grabbed your breast, after all?